Bored and tired..

oh how i fucking wish that its a fucking holiday tomorrow.. i need a fucking holiday and i wanna go to the fucking arcade. im so fucking tired and i know i keep fucking curse but i kinda need to fucking curse cz im fucking sick & tired of my fucking life. Can someone please fucking take it away cz its too fucking hard to live!! FUCK!!! i pretty much fucking hate everyone right now. i swear when i get out, im never coming back.. don't even try to fucking look for me, cz i won't be there like i fucking used to!! FUCK LIFE!!!

NEW LOOK!! FIERCE!

So i got a new look yesterday and i think it looks awesome. who knew right?? and i kinda can't wait to see my photos.. i'm really excited. And ofc, i'll be sure to put some up on Facebook cz thats a must. Just to show off some of the pretty pics i've taken. And the few really sexy ones can only be seen by Alex. i kinda told him its only for him.

At first i don't have much confident in me but after that, everything was ok but i still gotta look at the pics first to comment.. if they look my best thn i'll show em off on Myspace. and speaking of Myspace, i havnt been there in a long time. i think i'll got have a look in a lil while, just to see whats going on there. All i know i stopped cz there were too much faker there.. Well, i really do hope the pics turn out okay. i don't want it to ruin my image :D

Lonely again..

Im lonely again.. i hate being lonely. even though i hate it, i gotta get use to it. its cz Alex is gonna spend more time at sea now, and im left alone most of the time. For now its all good cz i still get to hear from him every once in a while. He'll still call me once every week, on a saturday till he get home. The more i think about it, the more i miss him. i know i shouldnt be thinking about it but i juz cnt help it. thinking of him is the only thing that im doing a lot now. hes just always on my mind. And for our holiday, we're not going to KK anymore :( im pretty sad that i have to cancel everything but i'll be going to Bandung, Indonesia in Jan with or without him. I'll be going with Sabrina. i really need a holiday. i dnt know if i'll be able to spend time with him next christmas or not, i really wanna. i really do. im juz pretty sad that i cnt go this year. Maybe meeting his parents' not the best idea but still, if im gonna marry him, i have to :D i really dnt know if i should be sad or happy, i feel sad cz we wnt get to have our holiday this year and im happy cz i get to spend christmas with him next year. but i think im mostly sad now cz i still cnt get over how much i planned for the KK trip but gotta have it cancel, i really wish we could go. i really miss him and i need a hug from him. im sure im gonna cry again when we depart from each other in Bandung. im gonna be a baby again, juz like when we were in Kuching.

Some messed up poem

One fine day in the middle of the night, Two dead boys woke up to fight. Back to back they faced each other, Took out their swords and shot each other. One deaf cop he heard the noise, Took out his gun and shot the dead boys. Believe this lie, it is true, Ask the blind beggar, he saw it too :P