Tired and alone.. really missing someone right now :(

OMG... the pass few days (since Friday) was really tiring. I didn't wanna model anymore but a model gotta break her foot and leaving me the only option to fit her place. I quit modelling cz i wanted more sleep but lucky this time i was modelling wedding gowns. Which is awesome cz i get to wear all the pretty dresses and have my hair all nicely done and i get to go to all the pretty places and get my picture taken. I'll be sooo happy if one of my pics made it to the billboard, thn i'll be one of the youngest wedding dress billboard model XD

Now to the sad part. I'm gonna miss Alex cz he's not gonna call me for the next week :( Its sorta my fault too cause i forbid him to call me. I really regret it now but he has to study. Its probably my fault that he failed the last exam. Cz of me, he couldn't concentrate on his studies but i was in college too last year (Uni to be exact) we were both doing our orals. Probably he was juz nervous and forgot most of the stuff. I still wish i don't miss him so much that it makes me soooo hard to concentrate on my work.

Juggling wedding planning, interior and events with only two hands isn't easy. If its only wedding planning and events, maybe i could manage but interior in addition, its juz a total headache :( But at least with my headache and tiredness, i still manage to do a few quotations, plan 2 weddings and plan 3 events. Which is really really good thing XD

Drama and others

Ok.. i normally dont complain but this time i will, cz if i hold it in any longer, i will try to kill someone. I gotta complain about that fucking Emiri, she's a total bitch and a total drama queen. And i thought i was the big drama queen, who knew theres someone bigger juz right there. She likes to bitch about everything and make a big fuss of everything! A total drama queen. Example: Shes getting bigger by the moment, even the nurse said she's obese, when we (meaning my uncle, aunt and me) told her to control her eating, she said we keep feeding her. And what my uncle said is true, when everybody's eating, we all eat 1 portion while she eats 3. And when we're eating out, she orders 3 portion. When my uncle says NO, she'll get piss off. She deffinitely can't control her eating.

PS: She calls everyone fat. She calls my aunt fat, calls my uncle fat, she even call me fat but true is my aunt, shes not fat. Her belly juz ballooned up after she got her monopost, while my uncle he's a guy, he doesnt give two shits about his weight and me, i'm slim. So what if i need to tone my ass a bit and loose the baby fat on my belly, fuck im still smaller then her. My other aunts was like "Wow, ur cousin is big. Bigger then you." That is very true bcz shes a bitch fat drama queen thats why i look smaller and much younger then her.

Not only that, she's a lazy lump of fat too. She won't even get up to do all the little chores in the house. If she doesn't do chores then FINE!! go out and exercise. She wont do that either. She juz fuckingly sits around and complain all day and bitch about everything. Trying to be like one of them black people, sit around and bitch all day!! GROW UP! You're not in Pheonix anymore, you're in Malaysia! Everybody work their ass off while you juz sit at the computer and bitch about people's lives.

MY EVIL PLAN: To feed her with all the food laying around. I shall make her as fat as she can be and let her suffer from all the drama she created on other people. She think that no one has feelings cz when she bitch about someone that person doesn't say a word. My plan is to teach her a lesson. After this, lets see if she still bitch around.

Christina Aguilera - I'm a Good Girl (Burlesque)

My new favourite song. Was watching Burlesque and this song came up apart from Tough Lover, i like this song. I sometimes do get tired of Christina's big vocals, so this song would be right for me for now. Plus, this song has sweet, cute and sexy combine together. Oh gosh, i wish this movie would come out last year so i could do the Tough Lover or this number for our broadway theme performance. But its ok, i did Don't Rain on My Parade for sectionals. I guess i could do this or Tough Lover for our performance at The Lodge Club or Dancing Cat. It would be totally awesome.

New Book..

I'm struggling to write a new story to add into my collection so i could get my book done. Now i'm stuck and i got no title for my new story. I got Weightless and Hey There Mr. Brookes done and now i need a new title. And LOL.. my Alex's writing his book and got stuck along the way too so he has nothing.. a total blank, while my problem is mental block XP.

And why am i sooo sleepy? Fuck it, i slept 7hrs last night and im still sleepy now... Yesterday, i got a total shock too cz i wasnt feeling all that well last week. With all the throwing up and dizziness and everything and since this is the 3rd week anything could happen. Did my check up and got my results back at 5.15pm and it was a negative. I'm not pregnant, it's juz my low blood pressure and low blood sugar which cz the dizziness and made me throw up.

Both Alex and i are relief cz we're not ready to be parents eventhough Alex thinks that i am ready and i will be a good mom, i dont think i am ready. Some things just can't rush. Anyways, im just glad that its nothing and im doing fine. And im glad that he'll be here for me :)

College/University

So.. should i got to college/uni in the US or UK??? i'd probably go somewhere cheaper and i think US is much cheaper thn the UK.. but the other problem is that, my boyfriend is in the UK and i dnt wanna leave him alone :( so im really confuse now.. UK or US??? i hate making decissions.. they are the most headache thing in life!! Juz like my current working days.. a total headache to think about wedding planning and interior at the same time...

Besides that, i got another problem.. we'll be going to KL next year and of coz Alex will be coming and i really do hope he got a friend down.. and i also hope that we dnt run outta money cz i will not support Emiri and her dumb friends. Its not worth helping her..

Suddenly Shot Me!

So it just suddenly shot me that, i'm now thinking about the wedding that i'm going to go with Alex and i'm going to have to living with him at his parents house for a week or so. I freak out every once in a while. Why am i freaking out? I know meeting his mom isn't the best idea but still.. Who knows, maybe his mom will accept me. But then again.. i wnt garuntee it.

So his mom did say that im really pretty. I still need to find someway to win his mom's heart. Maybe showing off a lil cooking skills? or getting her those Sand Dollars that she want so much? who knows maybe that'd help. i need to find someway. Being a wedding planner/interior designer is impressive but i dnt think that's enough to win his mom's heart. i need something more.

And not forgetting his sister and dad. His sister wouldnt give a damn but i think his dad will. Just like my parents, my dad is the cool one, while my mom.. errr... not so much. Lets home that it all goes well, and i hope his parents dont mind me staying with them for a lil while. :/

My New Fav Number..

The Ballad of Mona Lisa. My new favourite song. Im also loving the Steampunk style.. Alex likes it too. Maybe the next Steampunk event, i'll go as Mary (the "murderer" girl in the video) she got style but too bad shes the murderer.. Very very sad.. but i still love the music video tho. Brandon Urie is just sooo hwat in this video..

Alone again.. :(

All alone again in the office.. well, more like showroom this time coz, no one hardly ever comes in here, my collegue is not around, i dont know whats going on here in the showroom and they put me here with a bunch of blinds and i have no idea what am i gonna do with them. They didnt even teach me how the computer system works. Facing the ipad, laptop, showroom and outside, i will go crazy and i mean literally go crazy. People on facebook aren't talking to me, well, most probably coz most of them are sleeping, boyfriend included.

Alex's been sleeping really early these few weeks and getting up early too. Ever since he spent his time with me in Malaysia. I can't really blame him cause, he always sleep late and gets up like 10am the next morning, as for me, i sleep at 10pm and get up at 5am everyday (weekends not included) Funny thing yesterday, when we were in Malaysia together, he saw that my arm could bend 130 degrees and most of my fingers could all bend backwards without pain. And so he called me "double joined" thn i told Emiri the story, and Emiri was like "Its not double joined anymore, its more like retarded, Physically Retarded" dnt really feel offended, i though it was funny.

On Wednesday Alex called, he told me the story about his ex-gf. i was kinda worried about it but i hope its nothing bad. He said that his ex called him at 5 in the morning just to tell him that she's engaged and she wanted us to go to her wedding. ME? of all people. I have to go to his ex's wedding with him. But if i do go, i'll probably be staying with him at his parents' house. And i gotta meet his mom.. :S now im worry. I hope his mom is cool and calm and doesnt say anything bad behind me cause that will just make me worry :/

Justin Bieber Shot and Killed on CSI [High Quality]

This is the best video.. it made my day and also everybody's day.. the comments on yourtube are packed.. good job CSI.

Get Scared feat. Craig Mabbit

OMG.. Sarcasm juz came out.. and im totally in love with Nicholas.. he looks really HAWT!! and Craig Mabbit looks good too.. and they got a pretty good collaboration together. AWESOME!! and the zombie effect.. only one word "AWESOME!!" Fav line "I cud be the Devil and you cud be the Sinner." and at 0:28..for a second there i thought it was Lumiunor.

Big Reunion..

2nd Feb: Chinese New Year eve or as we call it "sa chap mei"

The first day Alex got here, i have to eat, thn during dinner, i ate again then it comes to the 2nd day which also happens to be sa chap mei or Chinese New Year eve.. the BIG reunion dinner.. blahh... i only ate a few then i gotta stop or else i will throw up. But anyways, it was fun.. Most of us were there, yes Emiri included. She can go on eating. Well, our family are big eaters thats why we are a big family.

I also got a pic with my cousins which they are really cool and not forgetting their dog , Sammie and Smegale XD

The big day... February

1st - 8th Feb.. I was actually freaking out cz i had to come down early, so i got to Malaysia a day earlier then Alex. I was pretty busy the day before he was somewhere in the back of my mind. Then one phone call from him, i went back from being busy to nervous and excited.. XP then, the day came where i had to go to the airport.. i was lucky that i had Munie and Emiri with me or else i'll freak and run to the bathroom and wont come out. But come back to reality, i was nervous and the airport was freaking cold and i was freezing IN A HOT COUNTRY?! :/ Emiri and Munie took off to KFC to get something to eat while i was there all alone. Then there he was, i waved at him and he waved back juz to give me a bad news. "They left my suitcase in KLIA, but they'll send it to the hotel when it gets here." Geezz.. that was stupid. But we went to the hotel anyways and chased Munie and Emiri away so we cud make out for a while. XD Thn it was lunch time, went to lunch at the local Chinese restorant, Hong Kong Noodle House and we did took a few pics which i actually like. Its the sweetest.

Jan 2010 ;)

31st Dec - 2nd Jan: ROADSHOW!!!

The part of what every interior designer wants to do... a roadshow. we were doing blinds and stuff and oh gosh! we were soooo lucky that we dont have to promote our wallpaper... i will kill myself if we have to cz its really really expensive, and the other problem is, im not good at counting. so yeh.. i'll be the worse mathametician EVER!

Egh.. the whole day at tHe spring shopping mall promoting stuff, i came close to dying and we were all working late and the food are expensive, well actually everything here expensive. ESPECIALLY the food. i think that about it.. but i still managed to get 2nd on the top sales list. if you managed to get in the top 5 of the Top Sales list, you'll be a pro..

I'm really excited about February cause i get to se my darling, and we'll be going on vacation together. Can't wait for that XD

November & December. The winter begins

November 2010 – remember in October I invited my darling to come to Malaysia to spend Chinese New Year with me? Well, he surprised me with the tickets and I was totally shock. I was so happy that I don’t know what to do.. if he was here I would jump on him, hug him and never let go. But too bad, he’s up in Glasgow while I’m in Manchester. November is also the month of our orals.. I’m going to have mine based on my ID course while he’s gonna have his based on navy stuff. To be honest, I wasn’t really studying at all. While the other groups ( such as group 3BID-10, 3CID-10 and 3DID-10) are studying their ass off, our group (Group 3AID-10) are out playing. We studied for two months then just a week before the orals we were out and about.. went to Kent for a few days, did some shopping, wonder out on the streets and many other things tourist do :D after that week, its oral time.. I was somewhere in the middle (coz we go according to alphabetical order) I know I was soo fucking nervous. Plus, I wasn’t all that well for that whole month.. but in the end I got in, sat down, the guy asked my a few questions and I passed.. which is AWESOME!!

December 2010 -- Finally… we finished our course and passed our exams, we are finally free!! No more books, no more lecturer, no more principles telling us about our future… we are finally free of that. I could finally focus on being a full time wedding planner/interior designer. And I did fashion design as my side project, that’s why people think that I work too hard (boyfriend included) He seems to think that I work too hard, but actually I don’t. So I have to admit that wedding planning is a bit hard but ID and fashion isn’t a big problem for me (ESPECIALLY fashion, I never have big problems with those.) Aly decided to open up a boutique (cz fashion is her bowl of rice, and its juz my side project.) she’s really good at designing clothes and jewelries, while me, I’m juz better of being her assistant. We both worked hard on saving up for the boutique (also looking for the best place) cz she doesn’t wanna take all the credit.

September & October

September 2010-- I started my Wedding Planning career. I also just found out that it actually has a season.. e.g. September - January the peak season for weddings. April - June, peak season for engagements, etc etc... I was soooo busy during my first month. Running up and about. 4 - 6 places in one day. When i get home in the end of the day, i'll be totally so totally fucked. I even fell asleep in my work clothes a few times.. But at least the pay was ok. Studying during the day and working afterwards.. i even gotta work from home. But like i say, at least im still alive and doing juz fine.. XD and i got good pay too.

October 2010-- I actually invited my boyfriend to come to Malaysia with me for Chinese New Year and to my very big surprise... He of all people actually agrees. I was soooo fucking HAPPY! If he was here i would jump on him and hug him and wont wanna let go..

July and August (still somewhat boring)

July 2010-- I cnt remember anything that happened during this month.. OH RIGHT!! Now i remember.. we had our Battle of the Band.. and Lost in Stereo came in 1st again for the 5th time.. I really love all my guitar solos.. I think they are the key of us winning. I mean look at us, i play tons of solos, Cinda plays both the guitar and keytar, Leslie got her drum solo and from time to time Emily plays the keyboard.. we are juz a bunch of talented girls with nothing to do..

August 2010-- the only thing big in August is Jack and Kris's Bday. Jack, one of my bed friends from Germany and Kris, my lil nephew (Wyatt's lil brother) I actually got the change to fly to Germany to attend his Bday party. And OMFG!!! Tim, Kristian, Hannes, Romeo and Felix was there and seeing them again is like going back to kindergarten.. I love them soooo much. I would say Felix is my bestest friend coz we knew each other when i was only 10 (in music school). And i made it back just in time for lil Kris's Bday where i got him some clothes from germany and he was please with it.. he wears them most of the time. And i was lucky to get him something bigger so he does grow out of it too fast.

May and June

May 2010-- its Samara and Wyatt's Bday. Samara, my lovely lil niece and Wyatt, my naughty lil nephew. Samara turned 2 while Wyatt turned 4. Samara dressed in this really pretty lil blue dress that Aly made for her, and she was the most beautiful lil angel there and very sure that not even i can beat her at that. Since she's still a lil girl, she get lots and lots of present.. i remember when i was a lil girl, i get all the presents too. Well of coz not forgeting my ever handsome twin, Matt. Im pretty sure that Nikki and Mark are proud :D Mom and i sat and chat juz to catch up on our mother and daughter stuff, cz she spend most of her time in Edinburgh, we hardly ever got the chance to talk to each other anymore. At Wyatt's party, that stupid kid pour punch all over the place. We were lucky to get out of there before Shell gets piss off and start yelling at people. (cz Shell have the tendency to do that) but i cnt blame her cz Wyatt was such as brat! i would do the same thing if he was mine. i did manage control him for a while but everytime he gets outta my sight, he makes a mess or create another riot (FUCKING BRAT!!)

June 2010-- Yet another boring month.. but something exciting did happen. 14th June 2010 is the day that i will never forget, coz well.. finally i got a new boyfriend :P i know i know.. its no biggy but still, i've been single for 3 years and people keep saying "Theres no way a pretty girl like you are single." The only answer i could give them is "Well, truth is, im not pretty at all thats why nobody wants me :D" and whichever man that hears that, they would usually go "Thats a load of bull! You're fucking pretty!" and my current boyfriend is include in that saying :P so yeh, thats how i came to like him cz i kinda have a thing for Navy and Military guys and he happens to be a Navy guy so yeah... i thot my head was playing with me but thn i realized that it wasnt or who knows, maybe im blind. Like they always say, true love is right infront of the eyes but we are too blind to see.

March & April together

March 2010-- March was boring month.. Nothing exciting actually, juz plain boringness. The only highlight of that month is our great women football match. Guess what, i was on the football team too.. LOL! i know its unsual but still, most of us girls are Tracks, Gymness and Basketball players. We can run, we are fast and we are flexible :D Which is still awesome compare to the men's football team. They do nothing but run about the field chasing a single ball for 3 hrs. But anyways.. we won 5-0! we bagged the throphy home and made the Uni proud. But after that, its back to the auditorium for me with Volleyball :(

April 2010-- The month of our Vball match. I was really excited and nervous for it. Well im always nervous before a match so yeh.. it was on the 12th which is my Bday!! They always have the best timing. But anyways, we beat the kids of University of Glasgow and it was totally awesome! Celebrated with a BIG BANG cause we were also celebrating my Bday... i was really happy! GO MMU!!! (Manchester Metropilitan University)

Valentines Day and Chinese New Year

February-- 14th Feb 2010, the day where Vday and CNY falls on the same day. And according to the Chinese calender, this will only happen once every 50 years. So the next time i come across another Valentines and Chinese New Year, i''ll be 70 years old.. 70 years old!!! Cnt u believe it! i'll be all old and wrinkly by thn :P but who cares. But sadly, Alex (boyfriend) was in Thailand, so i had to spend Vday here alone in Malaysia. Meanwhile, CNY in Malaysia is good, we get to see lion and dragon dances :D but we only came across it once a year so yeh.. but it's still worth watching. The girls of Lost in Steroe (LIS for short) was here and we get to play a few number which is AWESOME!!

After 2 weeks of holiday in Malaysia.. its finally time to go home. So its back to Uni for us, more assignments and studying to do, which is get BOOOORRRRIIIIINNNNNGGGGG!!

its been soo fucking long!!

I know its 2011 and its been alomst 2 fucking years since i get on here!! So yeh, the years went by as usual.. Started working as a Wedding Planner and ID (Interior Designer) as my side project, but we're all under the same company juz doing different things. But the year started alright. Got myself a new boyfriend. Hope this one is much better then Bill cause Bill was a big dick!! If i havent tell u the story.. Well, i'll go about it on my way down.

To start of~~ The highlight of last year and this year. 2010-- Was the last year of my Uni course. Nothing but pure fun, exhaustment, headaches and other crazy.

January 2010: WINTER!! i love winter.. its my fav season of the year. Loni and i got to Em's place to have a lil snowball fight. Ofc, Loni was the champ as she always is. That girl could really do well in Baseball but nahh.. i'm sure she wouldn't want to cause i know her. She likes to be pretty, juz like every girl. But it was fun till Marco came and everything died. He's the geek thats really geeky and got nothing else on his mind but geek stuff. But it was ok in the end, we ended up having hot chocolate infront of the warm fire with silly stories to scare the living shit outta each other. So yeh, we're all kwel. Oh.. and i went to an Escape the Fate concert and it was totally awesome!!! i get to meet Max, Creig, Robert and Bryan.. i was hoping that i could get dinner with the boys but they cant.. and i was too tired :(